Mirror Mirror On the Wall, Who's the Sexiest Indian of them All?

After having an argument with Gangu’s Papa, Dilip Shah Khan Desai Patel Jerome Smith III, and losing Gangu’s world famous chicken curry…..Gangu was determined to win the SEXIEST INDIAN ALIVE competition.

“I can’t wait to see the look on Hrithik’s face when I get crowned,” thought Gangu.

Gangu did his normal routine for getting ready for the SEXIEST INDIAN ALIVE competition but will not reveal it in his blog for fear that Hrithik or maybe even Shahrukh Khan might be reading…..yeah Gangu knows about you!

Gangu arrived to the competition with his brand new Ambassador Grand, you know, the one with a digital clock, head rests (front/rear) and power windows. It was a pearl white color to match Gangu’s teeth. Sanjay Dutt’s face was glowing with envy as he parked his Maruthi 800 and even Mammooty couldn’t help staring after hopping off from his brand new Bajaj scooter.

The competition started with a swimsuit section in which Gangu displayed his Indian Flag Speedos. Gangu thinks the judges were more impressed with what was inside those Speedos rather than the $300 dollar garment around it. Next went the cooking section in which Gangu was forced to make upamav, Gangu’s second most famous item after the chicken curry. Unfortunately, Juggy D won the section with his daal curry. Gangu was annoyed the whole time because Juggy would not stop humming his ‘Sohniye’ song during the cooking. Couldn’t he just leave it at a wedding? If only Gangu could have made his chicken curry…..

Next came dancing, in which Gangu, who has graduated and done his arrangetram (dance " graduation "), won first prize. Hrithik Roshan, who won second, got Amitabh Bachchan (SEXIEST INDIAN ALIVE winner of 1975) to come and they reenacted "Say Shava Shava" from K3G, which got the judges all happy. After sweeping away the competition in the Muscles competition and winning the Parted Hair section, Gangu was tied for first place with Shahrukh Khan!!!

The judges were surprised and kept recalculating the scores. However, it was true, there was a tie. The judges decided the best way to see who was truly the Sexiest Indian Alive was to take an audience vote. They had Shahrukh Khan and Gangu stand on a platform. Whoever got the most cheers won the competition. Shahrukh Khan went first; he got a few claps and some whistles (which mostly came from his mom). Even after judges had reminded the audience that the competition had started, Shahrukh got the same reaction over and over. Then came Gangu’s turn…………

When the first place crown touched Gangu’s head once more, Gangu could not describe the happiness he felt. Of course Gangu had to shake hands with Shahrukh Khan and Hrithik, second and third place winners respectively.

As Gangu made it to his car for the journey home, he saw that his Ambassador’s tires were slashed and the windows spraypainted with the initials “HR”. Gangu was too happy to curse Hrithik and so just drove home with Aishwarya, her home not his :)